i’m sure you’ve noticed things have been a good deal less personal on the blog for a while. i’ve been back and forth with what i want to share about my life lately. i’ve been doing this for a very long time, blogging – i joke since dinosaurs roamed the internet – and when i started, i was an open book. you’ve watched me grow, and change, lose a job and start a company. i’ve shared my travels and my friends, my finds and my follies, and you’ve hung in there as my goals and my style constantly evolved. from my hair to clothes, my decorating tastes and my budgets, you’ve been patiently along for the ride as i tried a bit of everything, and i hope to continue that journey with my readers. as i’ve shared before, you are the reason i am able to do what i love for a career, and employ other women, allowing their creativity a place to flourish, and essentially you guys pay my mortgage, keep me in business and keep me in check. thank you.
some things i need to need to hold a bit closer these days, in my business and personal life, but today i want to share what’s important.
on tuesday august 12th my mom passed away, after a very short but very brave battle with cancer. she was diagnosed in may, started chemo and radiation in june, and made it halfway through her treatments before she could no longer fight the fatal toll the medicines were taking on her body. i’ve been at home the past few weeks with my family, in the hospital, holding my mom’s hand as she continued to fight until the very last breath she took. we celebrated her life with friends and family this week, and yesterday, i had to leave to come to new york for several business obligations.
i feel a bit like a fish out of water – i haven’t opened my computer in days. and i wasn’t sure i was ready to today. but i need to honor my mom, even while the pain is fresh and loss is deeper than i could have ever imagined.
my mom taught me to love pretty things. she showed me that creating a pleasing asesthic environment was a talent possessed by few, but the results enjoyed by so many. she nurtured furbish from the very first tag sale we had in a warehouse in clemmons – by staying up countless nights painting furniture, beaming with pride when our check-out line was out the door, and continuing to encourage me to stay creative, ambitious and true to myself as i made the decision to open a real store in raleigh.
as i changed, and grew, up and away, my relationship with my mom drifted a bit. i’m not big on regrets, but i do wish i had the opportunity to tell her that she was the wellspring of every ounce of creativity i have – i don’t know if i ever did while she was alive. i certainly told her every little secret i’d kept over 34 years when she was laying unconscious in the ICU (at one point i said, ‘mom, if you wake up, i have some serious explaining to do’), but i didn’t tell her enough when it mattered most.
she was caring and kind, selfless and sincere, really funny and a true southern charmer. i am so grateful she was my mom, and i hope i can continue to make her proud by striving every day to be a good person, a driven businesswoman, a kind friend and wife, and an inspired creator.