closet de kondo le tigre

so i’m about to try and get over myself and show yal what my current closet looks like.  i am NOT PROUD of this, so just stop with your judgment.

or actually, continue to judge and then the after will be even more of a startling amazement! because whilst reading this post, you’ve determined i’m a hoarder with no sense of organization, orientation or life balance.  and while this may be true, my new closet is going be dope.  like, extra dope.

my mom had a pretty normal sized walk-in closet growing up, but to me, it felt like that extra room you always find in your dream (huge! so much space!).  i can remember exactly how it smelled, and her messes – those corners that you cram random shoe boxes full of pictures, or ice skates, or old quilts and tennis rackets – were a wonderland to me.  i’d play in the bottom of her closet for whole afternoons at a time.  i’d lose hours in there, hiding in the dangling bits of her long dresses, bringing a cabbage patch doll or two along from my room to explore with me – we might have an impromptu ‘school class’ in there, which i would dutifully teach, or i’d shuffle everything from one side of the closet to the other, with an inflated sense of only child accomplishment.  (NOTICE WHAT I DID, SOMEONE!).  i have such laser-focused memories of being in her closet – all I have to do is close my eyes and i can conjure it up.

i’ve never had a fancy closet, or a terribly organized one.  the best i did at my old house was hide everything behind ikea doors and that was happy-making, but behind those bestas, beware.  things would get lit pretty quickly – just piles of every college fraternity t-shirt that ever existed.  every cheap dress old navy made.  and days and days of cheap plastic necklaces that made STATEMENTS! for all those 20something times.

and now, in my current rental, another closet that’s initially a swipe-right but lost it altogether after the third date or so – a big room that’s totally mess-exposed, with all the counter space in the universe to junk up, and no real rhyme or reason to the whole room.  tad and i are both a bit of over-consumers, prone to fast-fashion sometimes, and we have way too many shoes (i blame him – he did this to me.  he enables my sneaker problem, so that’s his, gave that problem to him).

moving to kondo le tigre – i wanted to get it right.  this is my big girl house, and i’m finally driving.  project renovation has to include one very important stop, if i was going to do it right, and that was california closets, or bust.

and blessed be the fruit, it’s happening.  and i’m gonna to tell yal all about it, because this kondo kloset is really for us, us internet friends.  it’s the closet that blogging built.  almost 13 years of it.  so let’s rejoice in it together — i’ll agree to show you my dirty bits and we’ll wallpaper over every one of those skeletons as a solid team, shalt we not?

yup.  number of people living their best lives is currently zero.

but see his mess Lindsay!, let me distract you from mine.

oh wait, we found it.

oh there we go.  see?

oh perfect.  this is all so necessary.  all the things.

bless.  Lindsay’s like, we need… 1934 feet of hanging space?

and all those bags, you can be sure I’m carrying a different one each night for my outings (I’m not.  I just hoard them in this drawer)

now I feel judged.  dogs, come to me.  soothe me.

look at this mom, says the dogs.  our sparkling, joyful schanuzy eyes can’t unsee this.

but guys.  seriously.  so I don’t wear short dresses right now, but I might again, and I can’t wear tight jeans because I’ll die, but I could, again, I’ll prove it.  and those rag and bone boots WERE really good-looking for a while.  I was something.  I was!

 

but also, like, why?  says lindsay of all the cheap forever 21 dresses that I told her I only wore once and now have a rolling rack full of.

well.  Gucci!  (made this sweatshirt from 100% Walmart materials.  curtsy, curtsy)

let’s continue this princess bride tale after you get some rest farm girls.  i want to share the cali closet designing process, the revolutionarily edit alex helped me with, the design picks for room and some more not-quite right jokes.  brb.