NOT QUITE ERR-THANG DID: MY SKINCARE ROUTINE

I'M LEGIT WITH NO MAKEUP, DON'T HAVE TO CURL MY HAIR UP.

ALL THIS BOOTY HERE MINE, I'MMA DOLLA WORTH A DIME.

REAL BOSSES STAND UP, LADIES THROW YOUR HANDS UP, AND SAY:

I KNOW I'M CUTE, I'M FLY, YOU ASK ME WHY,

CAUSE I'M LEGIT WITH NO MAKEUP.

-NICKI MINAJ

Just kidding, I totally curl my hair up, and for real, let's talk about makeup, but a light-handed take on it, yes?

I have 99.7 problems, real, made-up and otherwise, but luckily my skin hasn't really been one of them. I stay out of the sun. I'm paler than pale, and I would never make it on Naked and Afraid.  Also, I am admittedly, makeup illiterate.  Makeup just wasn't a topic that my mom and I covered (we were more focused on our seasonally updated bedroom sets from Pier 1) so I've never known or felt particularly compelled to learn how to apply it.  With all of that knowledge, I'm sure you're on the edge of your powderr oom skirted stool waiting for my skincare routine, so let's get directly to it.

I apply EltaMD UV Clear Broad-Spectrum SPF every morning alongside Keys Eye Butter.  A face and neck-full of Elta, and then just a swipe of Key's under each eye and people compliment my glow. This combo = magic.

At night, I wash my face with good ole soap and water - I finally smarted up and ordered some black makeup washcloths to use at night, and I drop just a bit of lavender oil in with hot-as-I-can-stand water.

Then, I apply some major goopage of Avalon Organics Intense Defense all over my face and then it’s Neocutis NEO-Firm neck tightening cream. My aesthetician said to swoop swoop swoop it across my neck and chest 10 times every evening, and I'll feel less bad about my skin in that area. It's working!

If I do add something new to my err-day, I've mostly discovered new facial potions at Clark's in Aspen, where they have a joy-sparking beauty selection.

Take this with a grain of casserole, but I use a volumizing mascara by Mineral Fusion – a Whole Foods discovery – and it does the job nicely. It's hypoallergenic, vegetarian, cruelty-free, gluten-free, fragrance-free, paraben-free, and phthalate-free with no harsh ingredients. 

I stick with one blush, which is MAC’s powder blush. 

Body balm I keep in bathroom - always Aesop.  Yes, the bottle is v. attractive, but no one nails the scent like Aesop.  You're instantly transported to a place where you want to smell your lotion, constantly.

I've always used Bio-oil on any scars, scabs or stretch-marks.  I can't tell you for sure it works, but I'm hooked on a feeling.

I prefer total black hole darkness for my best beauty sleep, and I always have my Dyson fan on for white noise and cool air. Plus it looks kinda sexy in the corner.

Virtue, a beauty brand founded in Raleigh, is my hair care of choice. Their scientists found a way to collect alpha-keratin in its pure form, which allows the protein to repair damage more effectively, leaving your hair thicker and stronger. I use their Recovery shampoo and conditioner, the Restorative Treatment mask once a month, and their texturizing spray to coax clean hair into an effortless curl. Most importantly, my must-have is their lifting powder. You've got to be light-handed with this stuff, but with the right application, you can achieve the perfect balance of Delta Burke-meets-a-prize-pony’s-mane.

Also, PSA-time - the water in Colorado is magic for my hair. It has a mineral smell, so maybe it’s Goop crystal-infused?